Wednesday, June 1, 2011

RELAX!!!

Anyone who has TTC for any length of time knows how irritating that phrase can be. Of coarse I want to relax. I am trying not to stress about it, but how relaxing can it be when that is all I think about 24/7?! OK that's not all I think about, but it does cross my mind at least 20 times a day. Seriously. I felt like I had a relaxed approach to TTC. I tried not to put expectations on myself or my husband and just "have fun." We have enough stress in our life I didn't want TTC to add to it.

Between being a full time working mother of a toddler and having a husband in his last semester of a grueling, fast-paced private college, it's been stressful! It's been more than stressful, it damn near ended our marriage and I wish I was kidding. But thankfully, we made it. We made it over each hurdle. My husband graduated AND found a job. (insert giant sigh of relief) Lou is completely potty trained. Finally. And I was able to cut back on my work schedule a tad. Instead of 40 hours, I'm only working 36. It doesn't seem like much, but it sure feels like it! Next hurdle: getting pregnant. We made it through the toughest times we have ever faced in our marriage so far and we can make it through this.

I don't have to try so hard to relax now. Life is getting less complicated and with the rough patch behind us, I can finally see the difference. I wasn't relaxed before. I wasn't able to relax before. With so many big decisions to be made and weathering a few storms, I never relaxed. I sure thought I had, but now I can see that I wasn't even close to relaxed. I know there will be other rough times in our future, that's just life, but for now I am celebrating having our latest struggles behind us and focusing on slowing down and enjoying life and especially our TTC journey.