Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Distractions

The new year has brought with it many things, but pregnancy hasn't been one of them. I decided to focus less on TTC and more on other goals. I have been going strong on my diet since January and have seen some great success. I have lost 23lbs so far but I still have a ways to go before reaching my ideal weight. I am not concerned with my weight. I feel good and look good, but improving health is always a worthy goal and it gives me something to put a LOT of time and energy toward. It has helped lift my mood and distract me from the fact that I won't be having a 2011 baby.

I really, really wanted a baby in 2011. Ideally I would have had a baby in September or October, but since I am not pregnant, that won't be happening. I am actually quite sad about it. When DH and I started TTC quite a while ago (we have been TTC off and on for about a year and a half) I gave myself a mental deadline of having a baby by October of 2011. I don't know why I wanted to have a baby by then, it just is what I always imagined happening. Now that the possibility of that happening is gone, I am a little upset about it. I really hoped it would turn out the way I wanted it to, but I guess that's what I get for trying to plan.

I know that life will turn out the way it should, but that fact doesn't make life's disappointments any easier. I guess I should just be grateful for the distractions. I am running a 5k in may and I am excited about that. Training for it (since I am NOT a runner) is definitely keeping my mind off not having another baby.