Thursday, September 30, 2010

Not expecting to feel this way

September, where did you go? This was the month I was supposed to start TTC. This was what I had been planning for months. I lost some weight, (still have a ways to go, but I made great progress.) started eating super healthy, taking prenatals, etc. I should have been ready, but I am not. The longer I wait the older my child will be before he ends up with a sibling. (and the more guilty I feel that he doesn't have one.)

September. This month, not only did I forgo TTC, I quit tracking my cycle! I haven't taken my temperature in the mornings since before our Disneyland trip. This was supposed to be the big kick off to TTC. I was hoping to have a better attitude toward it than I do. I was a lot more excited last month. Now that it's here I am dreading TTC. I guess I just haven't gotten out of this depressing funk I have been in lately.

I gotta get back in the groove of things and start out my next cycle at least charting. I suppose if I am dreading TTC this much, maybe I need to just not worry about it and let whatever happens, happen. But how do I do that while charting? I drive myself crazy sometimes.

1 comment:

  1. The catch-22 of knowing your body as well as someone that charts can.