Monday, August 2, 2010

Something in the Water

I hate when people say things like "there must be something in the water" when referring to the number of pregnant people around. I guess I just feel so left out! I have 2 SIL's that are currently pregnant. I have 2 co-workers that are currently pregnant. I have a 3 friends who just announced their pregnancies and a few more with newborns. My next-door neighbor is pregnant, and I went out to dinner with a friend over the weekend and we lost count of how many pregnant women were in the restaurant that night! (We seriously quit counting after 16!!) We do live in Utah, the state with the most pregnancies in the country almost every single year, but it seems like I am the only one NOT pregnant! Why am I so jealous?! I think it's wonderful and I am happy for them, but I want it too. I am ready for my turn.

I have a few things I am nervous concerned about when it comes to having another child, but I think I am finally emotionally ready to get pregnant. I was concerned about Lou adjusting to life with a sibling and learning to share my love and attention. But now I feel bad for him when I think about what he is missing out on by NOT having a sibling. I come from a large family, and while they irritate me at times, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my huge family and all the chaos fun that comes with it. I don't necessarily want 6 children, but then again, I don't have the stamina, patience, or funds my parents had, so 2 or 3 will be just fine for me.

I am ready to be pregnant again! I am anxious for it and craving it. I want the nausea, fatigue, backaches and all that comes with pregnancy because in the end I will have a BABY! I want my chance to test myself and my conviction about the birthing choices I have decided on. I am ready to try out a CNM as a  provider instead of an OB. I am anxious to wear the maternity clothes I have boxed up in my closet. I am anxious to plan for a baby and to talk to Lou about being a big brother. DH and I are already talking non-stop about baby names. He is more excited than I am! We may even have a boy and girl's name already decided! (Not telling this time until baby is BORN!)

Am I jinxing myself by wanting it this badly? Probably. I am very baby hungry. In fact, I am the most baby hungry I have ever been. Hopefully once we are ready to TTC (next month) I will be able to have success fairly quickly. I really don't want my children to be 4+ years apart! Lou is 2 and 1/2 and will be closer to 4 then 3 by the time I give birth even if I get pregnant right away. That makes me a little sad, but life doesn't always work out the way you want it to, but I do believe it works out the way it should.

Wish me luck (and sanity) through this process. I know I will need it!

1 comment:

  1. Bigger gaps aren't all that bad. Glade will be almost four when this baby is born, and I think it helps that she is older to understand. If we had gotten pregnant when we wanted she would have had a much harder transition. I guess it proves it happens when it is supposed to (even though I hate that phrase because I heard it so often).

    I remember last year I went to the fair and I saw pregnant women everywhere. I hated how many there were. And now being one of them, I wonder how many people look at me with the same envious look I used to give others. And interesting predicament.

    And if you do get pregnant right away or in a few months, he will be a little younger than Glade will be when our next comes around. Will be a good age to help :)