Monday, June 7, 2010

Fence sitting is frustrating

I have been thinking a lot about what I want for my next birth and I felt I should start writing a birth plan to get a clear idea. That got me thinking about who reads the birth plan and if it will even matter whether or not I have one. If the doctor or nurse will just ignore it, why go to the trouble?

I think maybe I will write one out to get a better idea of my own wishes for birth. Then I can work on choosing a health care provider that will support my wishes. I am still leaning toward a drug free hospital birth, but that could easily change. I really like the idea of  homebirth but I still don't feel comfortable enough to plan for it. I know that it is safer and that I will get the birth I want at home, but I still don't feel comfortable with it. I want a homebirth, but I am scared. Why does a hospital that has more germs, more unnecessary interventions, and less freedom feel more comfortable?! Maybe because I have been a sheep for too long. It shouldn't feel more comfortable, but it does.

I have a long road ahead of me.


  1. I have been where you are. It is soooooooooooo not fun. All the worry and anger and questions one after another. And then the super anger at why you can't just have the birth you want where you want without having to fight or have a strict plan or fire nurses during labor.

    It is so hard. And yet, sometimes, it being so hard just makes the end that much more exciting and lets you know exactly where you are supposed to be. Whether, hospital, home, birthing center, your car, the forest.... One day it will come to you. It will :)

  2. this is the EXACT place I'm in right now... No idea where I want to birth our next baby (my 2 are only 14.5 months apart) I like your idea about writing a birth plan and finding a provider to fit in that. I'm leaning towards a birth center but that could change!